Hope Fly Again

I want to lose the bitterness, my youth gifted me years ago
Back then I had let it seep into my bones
Oblivious, that I had turned somehow into my own foe
I had shut away all that I could feel in a safe deep within
Guess I didn't want to be hurt anymore...or my tortured self to be seen
Years have passed and the trammels had gained ample strength
When a familiar wind, somewhat nomadic compelled me to look at it in askance

And so I gazed upon Pandora's box willing to set free hope
I realized it's time to break away from this intangible cage and learn anew to cope
Letting go of my inhibitions, second chances are what I seek
Haven't I conversed enough with autumn? Spring should also get its turn to speak
Imprisoned in an iron clad chamber the heart had forgotten how to dream
It cowered in fear afraid to step out, for all was not how it seemed
The courage to embrace something new was just not there
My weary self had had enough, and to myself alone I tried to stay fair
But maybe it's time to be rid of this disquiet that I have lived with, for far too long
Seasons change and so should I.....all the while aspiring to be strong
Who knows what I might reap or what I might have sown
I want to let hope fly again...for it must not die in vain alone

Ink on my Fingertips

My mouth feels lonely
I fill the emptiness with a cigarette
The thin tendrils of intoxicating smoke slowly help me forget..
Every breath taken numbs my mind a bit more
Worries dissolve away momentarily like footprints on a shore
The glowing tobacco pleads for my patience knowing it's​ about to die soon
I callously suck the life out of it while humming a carelessly thought tune
My lips are content for a short while, curving lazily around a smoke feast
In offering myself upto smouldering ashes lies a strange sense of peace 
My world begins to spin and I happen to like the joy ride
I become the proverbial moth, reigned by the urge to go up in flames, with no one to confide
I can now relate to how a desolate life gets caught in a spider's web
Maybe it wants to be ensnared, in the hopes of getting saved
From the onus of a solitary reality
From the overwhelming recurrence of agonizing self pity
Some may call it self destruction, some unsightly cowardice
I call it setting yourself free from all that is amiss..

Kite in the sky

A solitary kite flying in a rain laden sky

The sullen clouds look down upon it with water filled bellies about to pour..
Hey there you giddy kite! What makes you dance in delight?
Are you a clown?
The wind!! Says the kite in a joyful voice. I am free! Don't you see?
You fool! The clouds bellow...tied to a string in the hands of man dare you say free? You can't!
Free are we! Who fly to distant lands and help conjure a rainbow
You silly kite lost in a puny breeze there is no chance for you to grow!
The kite replies with a swing in its tail

 

 

Your rainbows are pretty indeed
Flying to arid lands with rain...to millions you do good deed
But I am loved by a little boy whose eyes shine as I soar high
The smile I bring forth as I swoon above is worth my restraining tie
For without this bond I will drift afar..lost without a home
The little boy who cherishes me will cry if I am gone
I am free to fly in this vast sky, I am not just a mere plaything
I can induce a sense of thrill into whosoever is distantly watching
Dare I say I grow every time a man passes me down to his dear daughter or son
I bask in their giggles as they release me in the sky, time and again, feeling young
The grave dark clouds were amazed to hear such remarkable words from a playful little kite
Now they watch in wonder spilling words of encouragement, whenever it's time for its next flight
There's a kite within every being who wants to live on
Wishing to sail across blue skies with a home to finally come back to...a place where they belong...

Twilight

I gazed upon a twilight stricken sky and watched as a stealthy night slowly glugged away the ecru streaks

An event so shortlived..that no one would remember of to speak

Yet a lasting impression it leaves

A craving for such caramel coloured evenings deep within it weaves

The desire to witness such poignant beauty time and again

A sense of loss without experiencing pain

My line of vision darkens as the night gets shrouded in stars

And I lose the sensation of drowning in liquid flames

That caress my being and soothes my soul

I want to be a part of the golden brown glow a little longer

For just a while I want to indulge in this momentary happiness, feel content, feel whole

Even as a sneaky dusk steals away this warm cloak in exchange for some twinkling orbs

I don't lose hope

I know a twilight is just around a corner, on maybe another not so eventful day

Until then I would wait to feel the chilly warmth of  a camel dyed sunset, with a heart that has yet to be led astray..

Limbo

There is something amiss
I know not what
The earth keeps spinning as it should
But my mind with a standstill is fraught
I keep staring at the velvety night sky
Dotted with stars
But their lights don't reach the darkness I am trapped within
An incessant limbo with no apparent escape
I wish for a hand to pull me out from this slump
Will anyone lend me one?
The air around me feels laden with embers of all that is not meant to be
Sucking the breath out of my lungs
I see my tomorrows giving way to fluttering ashes
Paralyzed by a helpless feeling, I wish for my present to go up in flames
Maybe then there would be peace
Freedom from the unsettling uncertainty as to where life is headed
Anticipation kills..of a morrow that might not have a morning sun
Of a day where things are no longer fun
I don't want to lie in wait for such a dawn
Oh merciless time release me from the part of playing a pawn

Give me some hues..

Colours...won't you put some on me?

It has been ages since I have been dyed out of incessant monotony

Everyday is a black and white montage
No hues to be seen
Life! Off late haven't you been pretty mean?
Give me some rainbows for what will I do with sunshine alone?
Over eons of solitude haven't I enough grown?
I don't demand rose-tinted glasses to see the world through
But it is time life! Gift me something new
Something warm..that would cure the cockles of my frigid heart
Turn my empty canvas into a wonderful piece of art!

Windmills..

Some lazy windmills twirling against an azure sky
Makes me wanna step out of the car and take a hike
Across a few hillocks covered in golden grass
Where the earth appears to be wrapped in brass
The firmament above is like a glass stained with blue
Brilliant and bright it chases away all my rues
My mind ambles forth beneath the warm sunshine
I say to myself...life is fine
For I feel the wind across my cheeks that has brushed past the mills a while ago..
Lending me some of their laziness while I am on the go
And I am free as I can be..distant from the car honks in a burnt grass valley
Walking to a place unknown...the white streaks of clouds like beacons in my path...
I realize I have been shown
That a barren land is indeed a thing of beauty if you have the sight
You can either sway the wind being a windmill or be swayed by it like a kite!

And someday when the sun won't burn so bright and the stars won't shed any light
I will be free from all that saddens me...
Perhaps then i will not constantly drown in all that i feel
And would treat all that surrounds me like a movie reel
Intended to play out its part
And not let my insides tear apart
It is not a nice thing i tell you
To be in touch with fire and rain
I get burnt a thousand times and deluged again and again
I still fail to leave it all be
Nevertheless seeking that elusive freedom from this meaningless purgatory..

Is it me who has changed?

Or do u feel so..since to your whims i no longer bend

What am i to u? Wat u r to me?

The definition changes as time ticks away and we choose to believe only what we see

Promises made once no longer hold true

The golden colors that once filled every shared moment have turned to an arid ecru

N i am left wondering

Why is it me who bears the onus of carrying the carcass of all that we were?

Here i thought it was a half and half but it seems you are not to be accounted for

I am heartless u say

It is good in a way...i must slowly aspire to be one

It is time..for far too long and far too often i have been the heartful one..